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Nurse Arrested in Orlando Nursing Home Scandal Orlando, Florida – Authorities have confirmed the arrest of Kimberly Wolcott, a nurse at Shady Acres Nursing Home, after what investigators are calling the largest “senior love ring” bust in modern nursing home history. Wolcott, who had been employed at the facility for over a decade, allegedly distributed prescription drugs, primarily Viagra, under the guise of “therapeutic activity.” Police say she encouraged residents to “explore… Read more

After years of uphill battle, the much persecuted "want-to-be / wannabe" class composed of primarily Caucasian youth has reached an apex. Today Donald Trump has signed into law through executive order, a new bill granting minority status to all Caucasian youth identifying as "Urban", and or Caucasians with a deep regard for the urban culture. These young white men, often from predominantly white areas, are typically isolated based on dress and behavior… Read more

Arkansas | A Little Rock woman, Peggy O' Shanty has lost virtually all sight in her left eye after a practical joke goes awry. Peggy, a 27 year-old Little Rock native was sleeping in the back of the families pop up camper when her brother, 27 year old Dennis O'Shanty decided to ejaculate on her face as part of a practical joke for a viral video he later posted to Facebook, Twitter… Read more

Tehran | One of the most famous horses in the movie history, Sea biscuit (real name 'Two Step Too') has been stoned to death today for his participation in homosexual acts with another horse considered to be haraam and prohibited by the Qur'ran. The crown price of Iran, Rezs Pahlavi, has one of the most lavish horse stables in all of the world -- and a collection of world class horses to… Read more

Reporters were left puzzled yesterday after the actor Neil Patrick Harris went off the script on the set of 'A Series of An Unfortunate Events' while giving an interview, spiraling into some sort of politically charged rant against one political candidate. "One minute he was talking about his role as Count Olaf, the next he was literally shouting "Bernie Sanders -- that f*&%ing Bernie Sanders" says Entertainment Tonight host Nancy O'Dell. ET… Read more

As absurd as it sounds, Trump's penis has been covered by the mainstream news quite a bit. CNN literally wrote about it here and here among many other media sources. But it came as a shock to read about the presidential phallus in the White House medical exam earlier this week. The Presidential "member" is trending again in the news and for a big reason. President Donald Trump had his second full… Read more

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is taking a page out of the 2012 EPA playbook. Doubling down on the original regulations and proposing a bill that will outright ban all wood burning stoves by 2020. She held a rally outside of capitol hill today with one main goal in mind: The health of the environment. While protesters on both sides showed up to sound off it was Alexandria with the platform and her voice rang… Read more

While details are scarce about the most recent Star Wars spin off update, cheers for diversity can be heard at LucasFilm headquarters today. Film producer Kathleen Kennedy and Jon Favreau at Disney together announced the monumental decision to cast Wanda Sykes, a multi talented gay and African American woman as the role of Jango Fett, Boba Fett's father. Kathleen, a champion of women's rights in Hollywood doubled down on the "future is… Read more

Last month our offices received an anonymous story which we wrote off as rabble rousing by internet users, but two very interesting sources have came to our field reporter and chief editor Marc Stiffener confirming what our tipster wrote. Sources say Brie Larson is being written out of the avengers (possibly blackballed) for her secret alter life style: She is a White Nationalist. Trent Opaloch (the Cinematographer for Marvel blockbuster Avengers endgame)… Read more

Springfield Vermont. High School senior David Wright is breaking legal ground by initiating one of the most controversial lawsuits of 2019. David is suing his biological parents, for being white. David, 18, claims the weight of Shame bestowed on him by his parents simply for being white is at times too much to handle. "When I was a kid I knew I shouldn't be white" David Wright recalls while lighting up a… Read more