Crime 🚔

Strike up the band. 33 year old Pro-Choice champion and activist Darneeka Jones has set a new world record for having her 16th abortion. An aspiring actress and present stay at home pet sitter, Darneeka believes abortion is a god given right and that by having this many abortions she can relay to other women that abortions are not only safe but healthy. The record breaking abortion was preformed at the Rae… Read more

In an all exclusive interview with 60 minutes tonight's Anderson Cooper, Alexandria Cortez sits down and tells it all, and while most of her life was charming and sweet there is one black spot: she ran with the notorious street gang known as the Latin kings. After talking some about Alexandria's early years, she started to tear up in a very emotional display. After drying her eyes and taking a sip from… Read more

In a bombshell wikileak, classified emails from the then 2010 POTUS Barack Obama show the president colluding with the Surgeon General to have 37 States pump copious amounts of soy to the inmate population for what experts believe to be an elaborate ploy to control population growth. All this through methods of depopulation, such as steering ones sexual preferences to that of a non reproducing one. After reviewing the email and subsequent… Read more

LOS ANGELES, CA — A 247-page academic paper released by UCLA’s Department of Medical Sciences has concluded that prolonged recreational marijuana use may result in what researchers are calling “a statistically curious pivot toward homosexual behavior.” The study, led by senior researcher and professor of human physiology Dr. Hans Juergen, began as a routine exploration of the neurological impacts of THC. However, it quickly took what Dr. Juergen described in a press… Read more

WASHINGTON — The Supreme Court on Tuesday unanimously ruled that state corrections officials in several states had violated the religious liberty rights of Sikh inmates by forbidding them to hold their religious swords while incarcerated. The case concerned Guru Granth Sahib, who is serving a life sentence for burglary, rape and domestic battery. Mr. Sahib, also known as "Singh the King", sought to obtain a 6-inch sword to accommodate his religion. His… Read more

Buffalo NY - police and fire paramedics were dispatched to a Westside Applebee's late Tuesday night after idle threats became real threats. 31 year old Angie Morales weren't from suggesting she blow up the bathroom to following through after she spent 45 minutes in the bathroom causing an ungodly "human safety hazard" which closed the restaurant's doors for the remainder of the night. Security footage reviewed by the Buffalo PD shows the… Read more

Facebook video of a Little Falls New York girls lavish birthday party led to an arrest of a Jones Street woman for welfare fraud after it was discovered the recipient "misappropriated" the taxpayer funds to feed many and fuel the event. Mr. Anthony Brindisi Made a statement of outrage on this Twitter account today, slamming the family for what he calls a terrible "misappropriation of taxpayer dollars". The woman of the alleged… Read more

MA - A Cambridge gender fluid couple were sent to the hospital last night and eventually jailed for a very awkward position where a man had his stead stuck inside of another man during a heated passionate encounter in which the police are calling "an unnatural and lascivious act with another person". Martin and Richard Cranium, a young couple from downtown Cambridge phoned in to 911 at roughly 11:00 pm last night… Read more

NJ - A Cape May summer home for a prominent politician was raided early Monday morning from a state and federal strike force as well as the FBI, the state labor commissioner announced yesterday in what they are calling one of the most disturbing raids of our generation. "We thought it was the families summer home. It looked like nothing more than just a great place to vacation. But what we found… Read more

A group of Coptic Christian fighters in the Egyptian town of Minya have liberated a cluster of farms near the city of Cairo last Wednesday. The Freedom Fighters have claimed to free more than 300 sheep and 100 goats from the Muslim Brotherhood. The Muslim Brotherhood, which openly claimed to use the animals as sex slaves for their potentially designated terrorist organization claims the animals are good for their soldiers morale. U.S.… Read more