Yearly Archives: 2019

The Hogettes -- a group of male Washington Redskins fans who wear women's dresses and pig snouts to NFL games to cheer on their beloved Redskins are being discriminated against in one of the worst ways imaginable, by being banned from entry to all 32 NFL stadiums in a move LGBTQ activists are calling both racist and homophobic. Their reasoning? Public display of affection. If you watched the division rivalry between the… Read more

LOS ANGELES, CA — A 247-page academic paper released by UCLA’s Department of Medical Sciences has concluded that prolonged recreational marijuana use may result in what researchers are calling “a statistically curious pivot toward homosexual behavior.” The study, led by senior researcher and professor of human physiology Dr. Hans Juergen, began as a routine exploration of the neurological impacts of THC. However, it quickly took what Dr. Juergen described in a press… Read more

NATIONAL: according to multiple affiliate reports there have been over a dozen hospital visits as well as 1 death in relation to the internet challenge taking the states by storm -- 'No Nut November'. This internet challenge dares men to stop ejaculating for the entire month of November to raise awareness for men who fall victim to spousal abuse, family court inequality and feminism. Health experts across the board however claim that… Read more

Ever since adopting the Pitbull mix named Gaga from the Helping Hounds animal shelter in Providence Rhode Island, Pat and Pat Crump knew there was something terribly off with Gaga's demeanor. He always seemed anxious. Just not himself. Multiple times we found Mister Gaga trying to nurse our cats kittens, almost motherly. When ever Gaga had social interaction there were issues as well. We would bring him to the dog park but… Read more

WASHINGTON — The Supreme Court on Tuesday unanimously ruled that state corrections officials in several states had violated the religious liberty rights of Sikh inmates by forbidding them to hold their religious swords while incarcerated. The case concerned Guru Granth Sahib, who is serving a life sentence for burglary, rape and domestic battery. Mr. Sahib, also known as "Singh the King", sought to obtain a 6-inch sword to accommodate his religion. His… Read more

MetLife Stadium East Rutherford New Jersey - home of the New York football Giants and the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets announced a policy change this week charging an absurd amount for food, drinks and more at the already overpriced Stadium. Associate executive of Stadium sales and distribution Michael McCarthy had this to say: We were once quite wishy washy about raising the prices on slushies, beer and pretzels, but we decided to… Read more

Buffalo NY - police and fire paramedics were dispatched to a Westside Applebee's late Tuesday night after idle threats became real threats. 31 year old Angie Morales weren't from suggesting she blow up the bathroom to following through after she spent 45 minutes in the bathroom causing an ungodly "human safety hazard" which closed the restaurant's doors for the remainder of the night. Security footage reviewed by the Buffalo PD shows the… Read more

That's right. Rhonda Payload (formerly known as Michael Stien) is taking a stand for Islam Today. In move both incredibly Brave and stunning Rhonda has decided to fight bigotry and oppression on a whole new level: the sexual level. She tells the Lampoon: Men are driven by one head, the little one. We can have them eating out of the palms of our hands in no time if we just cut them… Read more

As the chains are wrapped around General Lee's arm and his statue viciously brought to the ground, Bernie Sanders, Beto O'Rourke an AOC salute the fallen soldier and then high five each other. In South Carolina and now the rest of the nation, the last of the Confederate monuments have been torn down and these top Democrats say they're moving on to bigger and better things. Our very own Michael Tenpenny, veteran… Read more

In an episode full of emotion, a teary-eyed Ellen DeGeneres asks one question: "will you save us"? After a long and dramatic pause, which seemed like like an eternity, Michelle quietly responds with a one-word answer - "indubitably". Ellen and Michael rise hand in hand, and while Michelle only smiles, Ellen with her free hand points to Michelle, and with that big Ellen smile mouths the words " yes she can". So… Read more