Supreme Court Declares “Beauty Quota” Unconstitutional In a decision that legal analysts are calling “the end of an era” for cable news, the United States Supreme Court ruled 8-0 on Wednesday that FOX News must immediately hire “a statistically representative sample of unattractive women” as news personalities. The majority opinion, …

PORTLAND, OR — Local software designer Lucas Whittaker experienced a rapid series of emotional shifts Tuesday evening after reading a news article about a man who died from COVID-19, according to those familiar with the incident. Whittaker, 29, reportedly began by expressing deep sympathy for the unnamed victim. “It’s just …

OMAHA, NE— A sleepy suburban neighborhood in Omaha was reduced to smoking rubble early Tuesday morning after Nintendo reportedly deployed an elite paramilitary strike force in a ruthless crackdown against residents accused of creating and distributing homemade Legend of Zelda-themed keychains without proper licensing. Eyewitness accounts from survivors of the …

Claims iconic Super Mario power-up may contribute to “distorted neurological expectations” in children By Staff | July 28, 2025 | Washington, D.C. U.S. Secretary of Health Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has directed a preliminary review into the potential neurological impacts of Power Stars featured in Nintendo’s Super Mario video game …

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former President Donald Trump took the stage Tuesday at Mar-a-Lago to unveil what he called “the greatest, classiest, most beautiful trade deal in American history,” proudly revealing a custom-made, life-size statue of Chun-Li, the iconic fighter from Street Fighter, flanked by a pair of velvet ropes and …

Robin’s Unraveling In the heart of a bustling park, under a sky heavy with summer clouds, Robin stood tall—or at least, she tried to. The photo captured her in that fleeting moment of defiance: curly hair tousled by the breeze, sunglasses perched on her nose, and her hands gripping a …

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — In a surprise early morning raid, Columbia House officials — now operating as a fully deputized recovery agency — apprehended local man Eric Halvorsen, 44, for the non-payment of 13 compact discs ordered between 1992 and 1994. Halvorsen, who had assumed the company “went out of business, …

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a landmark initiative aimed at boosting inclusivity in the armed forces, Admiral Rachel Levine this week announced the rollout of the Department of Defense’s new “Queer-Readiness Protocol,” a mandatory policy designed to ensure all branches of the military are “operationally fabulous” by 2026. The program includes …

He complained so much we just gave him Zelda – Nintendo on Leguizamo. Great news, the Mario movie has spawned so much success that they are creating a multiverse. The next one being an untitled Zelda movie. While we do not yet know the name, or story of the movie, …

This is a guest post as read by Geralt of Rivia. Scroll down for the audio. In a shocking turn of events we find out why Henry Cavill was fired. Apparently it was more than just his refusal to get political. Yes, the Man of Steel may just be too, …