As absurd as it sounds, Trump’s penis has been covered by the mainstream news quite a bit. CNN literally wrote about it here and here among many other media sources.
But it came as a shock to read about the presidential phallus in the White House medical exam earlier this week.
The Presidential “member” is trending again in the news and for a big reason. President Donald Trump had his second full physical exam last Friday. The 72 year old commander in chief’s personal physician, Dr. Sean Conley – released a detailed report and statement, informing the public that a 11 man team of doctors examined the president and that he is in “amazing health”.
While Dr. Conley went into great length explaining why the health of Trump is above average for a man his age, the last page covered one thing only, his urology report — more exclusively, his penis. We assume the report was only included because there has been so much public opinion about his penis. When asked why this portion of the report was made public Trump tweeted “I told you I am the most transparent president of all time and I mean it. I hide nothing. Who do you think coined the term “bigly”? It was not me, but my beautiful wife”.
Dr. Conley’s official Dr. notes reads as follows:
While the health of Mr. Trump is outstanding and comparable to that of an world class Olympic runner or pro athlete, it was his penis that was most remarkable of all. In my 34 years as a medical practitioner I have NEVER seen a human penis quite like this one. Donald Trump truly has a penis that even the most endowed pornographic movie star would envy.
Stormy Daniels may have joked about the president’s size in the past, but this statement negates anything the stripper and porn star may have formally stated. the report continues to read:
The overall size was almost scary. The girth, length and thick veins coursing up and down the shaft, lets just say this thing is a precision instrument built for one thing – providing women with intense multiple orgasms.
Melania must be a very tired woman, and in my expert opinion his family tree very well may have a horse or two in it. We took several measurements and confirmed 10.5 inches completely flaccid.
We are unsure if the president is a shower or grower but it is safe to assume the fully erect size only goes up from there.
There is a video debate with the president referencing his manhood and we assume this is the original source material for all of the debate.
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If there were any doubts of the size of the presidents penis (The POTUS is talking to to you Kimmel and the Rolling stone) the rumors are now truly put to rest.
2 Comments
Dee Buettner-Schultz
VERY FUNNY
Marrison William
Just shows you that trump is a bigger prick in more ways than one