In a plot twist that sounds more like a conspiracy theorist’s fever dream than reality, tech mogul and philanthropist Bill Gates has reportedly found a new method to vaccinate the world: through McDonald’s French fries. The plan involves leveraging Gates’ recent acquisition of every potato farm on earth (or so it seems) that supplies the fast-food giant.
“Benevolent Bill,” as he is sometimes called, unveiled his unusual strategy at a recent press event. “We’ve tried the traditional vaccination methods,” said Gates, “but it’s clear we need a more…digestible approach. And what’s more digestible than a perfectly crisp, golden McDonald’s French Fry?”
The scheme is simple. Gates’ potato farms will cultivate genetically modified potatoes, which will contain a small amount of vaccine. Once fried and salted to perfection, these “VacciFries” will be distributed via McDonald’s outlets worldwide.
Critics have called the plan “absolutely bonkers,” but Gates insists it’s a stroke of genius. “Who can resist a French Fry?” he said. “It’s the perfect delivery system.”
The plan has caused a furore in the anti-vaccination community. Protestors, sporting signs that read “Keep your shots out of our tater tots” and “Say no to VacciFries,” have started picketing outside McDonald’s restaurants.
In response to the backlash, Gates said, “We’re not forcing anyone to eat the fries. But if you happen to enjoy a McVaccine with your Big Mac, that’s just gravy. And no, before anyone asks, we’re not actually adding gravy.”
McDonald’s has yet to officially comment on the VacciFries initiative. However, inside sources say the company is considering a new marketing campaign: “Get a jab with your grab.”
As the world waits with bated breath (and rumbling stomachs) to see if this audacious plan will succeed, one thing is certain: Gates’ venture is a prime example of thinking outside the (Happy Meal) box. So next time you order a side of fries, remember – they may just come with a side of immunity.