In a both bold and stunning political parlay California Governor Gavin Newsom Orders the Cal National Guard To Offer LBGT Merchandise to its members “or else”.
Governor Gavin Newsom ordered the States reserved armed forces to immediately offer LGBTQ-sensitive attire or he is going to double down by letting his homeless and drug using population defecate not only in the street but also make every parked vehicle in the State a safe haven for said drug users and vagabonds. The measure is slated to go into effect October 1, 2019.
By democratic law, The California Gov. is permitted to bypass the U.S. House of Representatives and Senate due to the Congressional summer recess if he identifies a state of emergency for his state.
Rainbow Battle Dress Uniforms and Kevlar helmets are the 1st to receive prototypes and all night tracer rounds will be of every color in the rainbow from here on out. The National Guard mess halls will also now be sensitive to dietary restrictions of the community. Mark Goodknow paints a picture for us of what future mess hall visits will be like:
“Britney Spears blasts over the mess hall speakers while each dining partition is now lined with sparkly vinyl booths, alongside a wall of very high heel combat boots for display. From the KP stage, a drag queen playfully heckles diners with her fishnet stockings, who in turn heckle her back for her fishnet stockings. Get it? Waiter bois in spandex suggest a “Bossy Bottom” cocktail or the Rainbow Dip to start the meal. After a Big Boi burger and a margarita soldiers enjoy drag strip bingo, the bill arrives in a stiletto pump for tipping. Its going to be astonishing.”
A teary eyed Governor opened up: “Not on my watch. A peaceful group they are and their civil rights will NOT be violated. This is an absolute emergency. It is wrong and also discriminatory that the LBGTBBQ community can not enjoy military attire that both reflects and propels their sexual preference in abundance.”
He took it a bit further with a threat that we do not believe is idle in any way:
This will be done god damn it. It will be done or I swear to god I will make it a law that every unoccupied vehicle inside of the state must be temporary safe space for our homeless to sh*t inside and shoot up in, for at least one half hour. If the vehicle is occupied then you will wait him or her out. His or her safety is paramount to building a better California. This is my parlay. Take one or the other California.
Lawmaker Alexandria Oasio-Cortez calls the brave move also a stunning one for activists everywhere, and that she believes this will go through “with out a hitch”.
The proposed law is not just limited to military gear but also, bumper stickers, shirts, and hoodies. Furthermore, all action figures sold by the California National Guard must include additional sets of gender-specific clothing so that children can cross-dress the soldiers.
Image under creative commons.
1 Comments
david ortmann
This not even necessary. The Bible says that we need to call on Him in times of distress. As no one can say Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit they need look to no one but Jesus. He is not condemning the LGBTQ community but calling to repent so to be healed. Behold when God makes something new, He makes it new. If any one is in Christ they are a new creature the old has gone the new has come. 2 Cor. 5:17 What God makes clean let no man call unclean-He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities, surely He bore our sorrows and by His stripes we are healed. Pooping in someone’s car because you are given permission is no solution. All wisdom is found in Christ Jesus-Colossians “In him is the fulness of the Deity found. So if we are abiding in Him we shall ask what we want and it will be done unto us. John 15 Pooping and shooting up has to stop. We are no longer babes but grown men and woman. Halleluia praise the Lamb!