Brooklyn Zoo suggests patrons harass gay penguins

After a terrible turn of events, a zookeeper at a Brooklyn Zoo is suggesting Park patrons harass two star Penguins. Why? For being homosexual.

Mary Lee, the parks top zookeeper has this to say:

Atom and Stevie are completely Inseparable and it’s starting to rub off on the younger male Penguins. What happens if this continues? The Gentoo penguin population will dwindle or even go extinct due to lack of mating.

Zookeeper Mary Lee has caught some Flack for passing out small buckets full of pebbles for visitors to chuck at Atom and Stevie wherever they are feeling “frisky“. That as well as encouraging shouting and screaming when ever the two are too friendly.

Mary Lee says it’s both helpful to the penguin community and each other:

Penguin poop is highly toxic and when spread on other Penguins genitalia it can create sexually transmitted diseases which are now actively running around in our Park thanks to Atom and Stevie here.

Mike Sandler of Rockland County and his nine-year-old daughter Hollie say the gay penguins are their absolute favorite animals at the zoo.

She loves Atom and Stevie. She will call them poop dicks and chuck pebbles at them until her arm gets tired. She knows this will keep the other Penguins on the right path. I love this zoo.

Opponents say the two should be left alone to do as they wish, and a protest is set to take place this Saturday outside the park gates with a goal to have the zoo keeper removed and the Penguins relocated to a safe zoo on the west coast in San Francisco.

Mr Saldin, A zookeeper of a famous zoo in Iran named Alladins Pets reached out to the Brooklyn Zoo with advice and how to deal with the poking penguins.

Saladin suggest they be:

Brought to the rooftop of the nearest Predator enclosure, hung upside down by their flippers and let go to plummet to their deaths. Let other penguin see this. You’re welcome.

Brooklyn Zoo has yet to comment on their course of action with pressure mounting from both groups. Stay tuned for future updates.