Brie Larson’s Superfan Watches Marvel’s Newest 123 Times, Dreams of Armpit Encounter

In a feat that rivals the endurance of Captain America or the persistence of a Nick Fury recruitment drive, Brie Larson’s self-proclaimed “biggest fan” has seen Marvel’s latest movie an astonishing 123 times. His mission? To offset the box office impact of what he calls “the bigots”. His dream reward? An intimate encounter with Brie Larson’s armpits.

Stanley “Stamina” Stark – no relation to Tony – sat through the latest Marvel installment over and over again, often armed with nothing more than a large popcorn and the belief that he was single-handedly combating prejudice.

“I had to do something,” Stark explained. “When I saw the bigots tanking the ratings, I just thought, ‘What would Captain Marvel do?’ Then it hit me. She’d blast them with photon energy. But since I can’t do that, I bought another movie ticket.”

Stark’s devotion to Larson and her character isn’t only about fighting bigotry. He also harbors a unique dream: to sniff Larson’s armpits. He insists that this unconventional wish is a form of “olfactory autograph.”

“I’ve got signed posters, action figures, even a limited-edition Captain Marvel toaster,” Stark said. “But anyone can have those. To really know a person, you need to smell them. It’s the ultimate fan experience.”

The internet reaction has been mixed. Some applaud Stark’s commitment to equality and his dedication as a fan. Others call his armpit-sniffing dream “creepy” and “a step too far.”

Responding to critics, Stark said, “Look, I know it’s a bit strange. But we’re talking about Brie Larson here. Besides, it’s 2023. Aren’t we supposed to be breaking boundaries?”

Marvel and Larson have yet to comment on Stark’s movie marathon or his unusual request. For now, Stark plans to continue his cinema visits. “I think I can hit 200 viewings before the movie leaves theaters. And who knows? Maybe Brie will let me sniff her armpits when I get there.”

Whether you view Stark as a superfan or just super strange, one thing’s for sure: his devotion is as unyielding as vibranium, as powerful as a Hulk’s punch, and as unique as a talking raccoon.